Rent-A-Friend
What is friendship worth? Can it be quantified? Can you put a price tag on it? Apparently some social websites argue that you can. Through an informal discussion group of which I'm a member, I learned that there are services like
that allow people to find and pay strangers to spend time with them. Users pay a monthly fee to become a member of the site, then they can solicit the friendship services of others who are willing to go out to dinner with them or perhaps visit a museum or park. Individuals who render their friendship services are free to dictate their own prices. Some charge per gig, some per hour ($10-$50 usually), and some do it for free as long as the other person pays for the dinner, drinks or activity.
Guaranteed 'friendship'?
Immediately this notion of 'buying' friendship raised a lot of red flags for me. Should friendship be something that can be sold and bought? Although the service purports to help the friendless make new friends, isn't it a system that takes advantage of lonely people? And yes, I can already feel the hoards of people itching to disagree with me. They argue that as long as both people enter into the agreement understanding that it's a business deal, then the whole thing is fair. They might also say that the service is a good way for shy or busy people to make friends that they wouldn't otherwise be able to meet. Both arguments are valid.
However, I think the danger lies in how people may ultimately forget what true friendship is:
a voluntary camaraderie between equals
. No matter how much two people may end up liking each other in these rent-a-friend situations, there is still the voluntary element that is missing or distorted. Would the rented friend still spend time with the other person for free or if he/she had to pick up the tab? Given the nature of this paid service, probably not. Furthermore, the element of equality is also missing. When there is an exchange of money for services, the relationship is inherently unequal-- even if both parties agree to the terms. The person who holds the purse strings gets to delineate most of the terms and the employee can either agree or disagree. Especially in situations where the service rendered is the artificial enactment of a relationship, the rented party would likely feel an obligation to feign interest in the other person. After all, why would you pay money to spend the day with someone who won't at least pretend to enjoy your company?
More than just business?
I suppose it would be nice for lonely people to go out with others for a change. Yet somehow I can't shake the gut feeling that the fabricated rented friendship can potentially do more harm than good. Unlike prostitution [which I also disagree with], rented friendships have the danger of deceiving people into hoping for something more than they paid for. I think that in cases of prostitution and such, both parties are quite aware that no relationship will transpire out of their encounter-- unless you're Julia Roberts and Richard Gere or later Debra Messing and Durmott Mulroney. With rented friendships, on the other hand, I can see the potential for a lonely individual to rent a friend in the hopes that it will turn into a real friendship. And there are a handful of Hollywood movies that tell the fairy tale of paying someone for companionship or sex, and later developing a real relationship [And yes, I'm giving an accusing side-eye to teen films like
(1987) and
(2003)]. Or perhaps this predisposition to believe that you can manufacture friendship goes back to childhood. When we have imaginary friends as youngsters, don't we create conditions under which the 'friend' will like us no matter what? Even our childhood films support this idea. How many times do we re-watch Gepetto the clockmaker who, out of sheer loneliness, creates a wooden puppet and wishes that he become a real son? It's a nice story, but it's a fairy tale.
In reality, the prostitute won't want to be your girlfriend or wife. In reality, the wooden puppet doesn't become a real boy-- no matter how hard you wish upon a star. And in reality, your rented friend will probably think you're just a tad bit pathetic for not having any real friends.
What do you guys think?
Also check out, if you'd like, more thoughts on
.
