Is there a sweet, secret joy in being a curmudgeon? That would be one explanation for the shockingly rude way the owners of Forever After Books treat their customers.

Wow. Wow. It's true. The Forever After reviews on Yelp were right. The customer service  is pretty apalling. After reading the terrible reviews on Yelp, I couldn't help but make Forever After Books my next bookstore-quest destination so that I can find out for myself how accurate the online comments were.

My brave friend, Sarah, and I ventured over today to Forever After Books on Haight. She had been there once before and said that the service wasn't great, but wasn't outrageously terrible either. After we both read a couple of the Yelp reviews, we were curious to see just how rude the owners were. With that said, we went in there expecting to be treated rudely. This may have affected how we perceived the place.

From the sidewalk, the first thing you see through the open front door is a sea of narrowly spaced bookshelves. As soon as we walked in, a man popped out his head to my left and demanded that I checked my bag in. I had read online how much of a stickler he was for bag check-ins so I simply complied.

The first thing I saw when I walked into the store was a prominently displayed sign with a ridiculously long list of things that are prohibited in the store, including: food, drinks, dogs, guitars, sleeping mats, etc.

Next to that sign, was another sign forbidding customers from reaching over their heads for books that are shelved too high. As a safety precaution, this wouldn't be an unusual sign to have in a bookstore. The weird thing about it was, that it followed that line saying that the books on the higher shelves are "overstocks and are less interesting." Yes. They actually said that. And underlined "less." Do they know nothing about sales? How are you supposed to sell anything if you trash talk your own products?

Scattered throughout the store, there were dozens of signs warning customers not to do this or not to do that. However, I didn't see a single one of the usual signs bookstores have, such as Staff Picks or even section signs. You basically have to figure out the genre of each shelf on your own. Don't ask the owners questions. They don't like to be bothered by customers. If you look closely, the genres of each section are written on the wooden shelves themselves in faded black Sharpie.

The other notable thing about the store is how tightly crammed the aisles of bookshelves are. On the bookshelves themselves, the books are jammed in so much that it's incovenient for the customers to find anything. Some of the books were actually jammed in sideways so that the spine faces the back of the shelf, making it impossible for the customer to even know what the book is without pulling it off of the shelf. And beware about taking too many books off of a shelf. I've heard that the owners yell at customers who take out too many books at a time. Strange. This is a bookstore. How are customers supposed to buy books without knowing what books you have?

They even took a Sharpie and blacked out the retail price that are printed on the back covers of books. Why? So you can't compare the retail prices with the prices they're charging? I don't know. All I know is that I like to have items priced when I go shopping. It's a hassle to bring every single item to the front of the store and have the employees dish out an arbitrary price at you.

Sarah and I actually approached the male owner to get a price check. Barely looking up from what he was doing, he said, "$3.69, plus tax. That's the minimum price here." With that, he grabbed the book out of her hand and said, "I'll put it back. I'm going to have to put it back anyway." He didn't even ask her if she wanted it. She could have wanted it. She could have considered buying it. But no. He snatched it away without even asking her. Sarah and I just looked at each other in shock. That's $3.69 he's not going to earn today.

Looking at the towering bookshelves, crammed with countless volumes I seriously felt unsafe. The bookshelves are safety hazards. This is San Francisco, aka earthquake central. All I want to say is that I do not want to be in that store when a big one hits. I would probably be buried under a ten-foot deep pile of books for days, wondering why a biography of Thomas Hardy would be in the same section as The Mayor of Casterbridge. I mean, I see the connection. But why mix fiction with biography? I digress.

As I was browsing through the aisle, a couple walked in. The male customer had a cell phone in his hand and the woman owner immediately snapped, "What's that in your hand? A cell phone? I can't even tell the difference between the electronic devices they have nowadays and I don't really care. Put it away! That's not allowed!" With that, the couple wandered over to the back aisle I was standing in and laughed with each other in disbelief saying, "Is she for real?!" Sadly, yes.

How do they sell anything? How are they still in business? Most of the people on Yelp adamantly declare that they will never go back to Forever After. And yet, after all these years, they're still there.

Just follow keep a low profile and follow these tips, and you should be fine:

• Don't bring in food, drinks, dogs, electronic devices, musical instruments, modes of transportation, or anything that would offend/threaten/irritate the owners
• Don't ask questions
• Don't make eye contact
• Don't try to make conversation with the owners
  
• Don't pull out too many books at once
• Do be quiet
• Do check in your bag
• Do expect substandard customer service

With that said, there are some positives about Forever After Books. First of all, they have a lot of books. A lot. If you love books, seeing the countless stacks will make you smile. Second, they have a pretty good selection. They have a ton of old paperbacks. Personally, I love older used books. They have character. Third, even if you do get terrible customer service, at least you'll have a fun story to tell your friends or write a blog post about.

Actually, while the owners were rude to a lot of their other customers, they weren't particularly rude to Sarah and I. They were short and civil with their responses. Certainly not friendly. Certainly not very helpful. But at least we didn't get yelled at.

The verdict: just go. Go for the fun of it. Go for the experience. Go because you will probably get treated so rudely that it's actually funny.